Illegal Drugs…solved

Posted on January 18, 2019 by admin

This just in: I just read where there was a major seizure of illegal drugs at an airport yesterday. It’s time to solve this problem.

Not only the drugs, but I heard a surfer landed in Malibu the other day towing a boat loaded with Chinese prostitutes. Add to this, the “rapist tunnels of Canada” where rapists, and other bad actors are entering our country illegally to have their way with our womenfolk.

We don’t need to put up with this any longer. I have a plan.

I think we should build walls around airports. I’m talking really, really tall walls. Yes, a plane can fly over walls but that’s not the point. The point is that a wall is a symbol that “We don’t take kindly to your kind here.”

On our southern border, we need to build underground walls to stop all of that tunnelling. We can get Canada to pay for it by promising not to build underground walls on our northern border and thus leaving their rapist trade uninterrupted.

As for these Mexican surfer dudes (I assume they are Mexican because of their dark skin, although that may be a tan)…we need something better than a wall. I suggest a moat. A moat around the entire nation’s coastline. This is a great idea for three reasons: (1) building a wall to keep out surfers is just stupid, (2) There is lots of readily available water to fill the moat and (3) Moats kept people out of castles like 2,000 years ago so they must work.

Aside from rapists and non-whites, there are others we need to be protected from. Take the homeless for example. We can wall them in as well; not with a wall that has slates, but a solid wall so we can’t see them and pretend they don’t exist. These don’t need to be tall walls because the homeless almost never have access to quality ladders.

As for those pesky religions that are not correct in their beliefs, we can put them in walled areas with a single exit. For them to get out, they must first get by my church’s greeter who will insist on shaking their hand and then asking if they have let Jesus Christ into their lives yet. This will keep them in with such effectiveness that we won’t even need a gate.

And finally, what to do with the gays. You know who I’m talking about; those people that gave their souls to the devil by acting in one of two ways: (1) a way I find offensive or (2) I way I want to behave but am afraid you will judge me and send me to hell.

I would write something now about lowering taxes for the rich in order to pay for our roads and schools but I can only pander to the Republicans out there so much before my soul withers and dies.

Time to save the world.

Up, up and away…

Jim

And the Wall…came tumbling down

Posted on January 16, 2019 by admin

This just in: I know it’s been talked to death but I have a few words on the government shutdown and Trump’s wall.

Let’s start with this…”Tell them we will build a wall.” This is how Trump’s handlers got him to remember to talk about immigration during the campaign. It’s like saying, “Remember, a lot of our base is racist so you need to give them something racist to cheer about.”

Trump first said “We are going to build a wall” and then marvelled at how the crowd reacted. He then ad-libbed “And Mexico is going to pay for it” and the crowd went wild.

This reaction imprinted the idea of a wall on Trump’s infant mind.

Some facts:

There is no crisis at the southern border. I won’t go into details. There is plenty of data about this. So, if you don’t believe me, then you are just listening to Trump or Fox News and there is no help for you.
Trump sent Congress a budget, they came back and gave him what he asked for. But, in the meantime, Trump watched some TV and found that a couple of conservative talk show hosts scolded him for not getting a wall. When Congress came to Trump and said, “Here is what you asked for” Trump said…I have decided I also want a wall.
If you want our country to be safe, pay the Coast Guard who is currently not being paid.
If you want our country to be safe, pay TSA agents who are currently not being paid.
The shutdown directly affects 800,000 paychecks from people that work for the government. However, millions are feeling the impact indirectly or as government services stop.

Now, It’s okay for the president to veto a budget submitted to him by Congress. If Congress really wants something but the president vetoes them, then Congress can override his veto with a 67% vote.

Mitch McConnell will not even allow this vote to take place. This, even though they had a nearly 100% approval of the budget sent to Trump.

McConnell won’t hold this vote because it will force some senators to either publicly vote for the government shutdown (in support of Trump) or it will make senators publicly vote against Trump, thus earning them nicknames.

It’s clear to me that the public wants the shutdown to end.

It’s clear to me that the public does not want a wall.

It’s clear to me that Trump is stuck in some alternative reality where he thinks he is actually a great negotiator.

It’s clear to me that if Congress actually represented the public, they would allow an override vote of Trump’s veto.

It’s clear to me that the Republican Party is afraid of Trump.

And sadly, its clear to me that about 38% of Americans are okay with all of this and thus….we are being governed by the minority.

Conclusion: The Republican Party is far more interested in power and keeping their jobs than they are in actually doing their jobs and promoting a true Democratic government.

Just sayin…

Time to save the world.

Up, up and away…

Jim

Basking in the Glory of “Words”

Posted on May 24, 2018 by admin

This just in: I see that Trump allowed himself to get played by North Korea; today, stepping out of the proposed summit so that “He could do it before they did.”

Just in case you missed it, Trump has accomplished virtually nothing since taking office. Yes, some things have happened but nothing that would (or should) be considered an accomplishment.

Trump is very big on making a bold promise and then basking in the adulation. Here’s the deal…he actually doesn’t do anything other than say the words. I’m going to post a list of things that Trump has claimed credit for doing simple because he “says he’s going to do it.”

First, a couple of footnotes: (1) Trump recently told Leslie Stahl of 60 minutes that he calls news fake so that people will not believe it when bad stories are written about him and (2) In his book, The Art of the Deal, he says you can lie to people and then do whatever you want to do.

Here is my list….

Trump promised better healthcare at a much, much lower price. “The best healthcare you have ever seen.” He got lots of applause for this on the campaign trail…then did nothing. That’s not quite true. He actually made it worse by eliminating the “individual mandate”; a move that is supposed to add $1,000 to the average medical bill next year.
Trump promised to cut taxes which will bring jobs back to America, lower the debt and spur grow “like we’ve never seen before.” He claimed, without evidence, that GDP would grow at a rate above 5% under his plan. Again, people ate this up on the campaign trail believing that Trump could turn water into wine. As it turns out, he had no plan. This allowed the GOP to cut taxes for their billionaire donors, leaving the rest of the 99% to foot the bill of the largest deficit ever.
Trump promised to deal with North Korea. So far, his strongest action has been a tweet calling the leader of North Korea “rocket man.” On his watch, North Korea has developed the ability to strike North America with a nuclear tipped ballistic missile.
Trump said he would deal with the Iran threat. Instead, he reneged on a treaty with Iran and 5 other countries; opening the door for Iran to once again pursue the development of nuclear weapons.
Trump claimed that he would renegotiate the TransPacific Partnership trade deal. Instead, we dropped out and the deal moved forward without us; effectively reducing our ability to trade with about half the world.
Trump claimed that he would renegotiate NAFTA. Instead, both Canada and Mexico are looking for trading partners to replace us with.
Trump claimed he was going to “deal with China”. Instead, China claimed the South China Sea as their own. Economically, they have outplayed him in every way. China knows that Trump responds to flattery and bribes so they use both to great effect.
Trump claimed he would build a Mexico wall and have them pay for this. His supporters (those that fear we will become a non-Christian, non-white country) loved this idea. Mexico has told him to pack sand.
The biggest one is simply Trump getting on television and saying, “We have been the most productive administration of all time.” His followers believe this and applaud wildly.

Sadly, this too is just words. He brags. People hear what they want to hear. He retains his power.

Sad.

Time to save the world.

Up, up and away…

Jim

Clarification

Posted on January 18, 2018 by admin

This just in: If you are like most people over the last year you are probably wondering “What the F*&k is going on in Washington?”

I’m here to help.

I’ll just look at the big things…

The United States is desperately low in workers at all levels.

Trump responds to this by cancelling DACA, a program meant to protect children brought into the United States at a young age.

Trump and the Republican party immediately point to the now cancelled DACA and say, “We can fix DACA but only if the Democrats approve a $25 billion wall that can be climbed over using a $20 ladder.”

This ignores the fact that Trump, with a swipe of his pen, can reinstate DACA as easily as he cancelled it.

Also…

Congress has let a program expire that gives healthcare to millions of poor children in the country. The Republican Party could pass bill funding this program but refuse to do so unless…your guessed it…”Only if the Democrats approve a $25 billion wall that can be climbed over using a $20 ladder.”

The GOP is actually saying, “We can’t believe the Democrats don’t care about DACA families or the health of poor children.”

Yes…this is actually what the Republican Party is doing.

Also…

Trump says he will help the Russia investigation and then immediately tells Bannon to say “Nothing” while testifying before congress.

Meanwhile, the investigation is starting to focus on money. Looks like Trump has mob ties, Russian ties, money laundering issues etc. Today it even came out that it looks like the Russians funnelled money to Trump through the NRA.

Trump took a physical and passed. His weight is stated as 239. This is just under the “obesity threshold” for someone that this 6’3″ tall. Trump would only be that tall if he was at the Event Horizon of a Black Hole and Spagettification was starting to take hold. As for his weight….looking at his shape I’d say he might be 239 pounds if he was 90% hollow.

Trump also took a cognitive test. I looked at the test and it’s a beast. There are questions like “What is today’s date?” He passed the test. I see this as a problem. It means he is doing what he is doing ON PURPOSE!

Trump is also being accused of a sexual relationship with a porn star within months of his son’s birth. She said that he said she reminded him of his daughter. eewwwww……

The GOP and the Democrats finally got together on an immigration bill but Trump got flipped by someone at the last minute. He pushed the bill away claiming we don’t want people coming here from shithole countries. Shithole being code for countries without a white majority.

Right this very minute, Republicans and Democrats are working together to try and prevent a government shutdown. The problem is that they have no idea what the president wants. He’s told them several times but each time its completely different.

So…that about summarizes the last day or two of Whitehouse activity lead by a very stable genius.

I continue to marvel at people that continue to support him.

Up, up and away…

Jim