This just in: Once upon a time, I was a Republican. Once upon a time, I never voted along party lines. Today…I can tell you that I will not vote for anyone in the Republican Party or for anyone hoping to join that bowl of corruption.

Still…we do agree from time to time. Read the following “Interviewing an average Republican on the street” transcript and see if you can find the common ground.

Me: There is overwhelming evidence that Trump held back funds for Ukraine in an attempt to benefit himself personally. Why is this not an impeachable offence.

Republican: They had all of the chairs in the wrong place during the witch hunt.

Me: I see…Let’s try this….Why should Trump be allowed to assassinate a top official of a foreign country that we are not at war with.

Republican: He was a bad guy. We are better off without him.

Me: That may be true. But, does this imply that we can assassinate anyone that we consider a bad guy? Specifically, should that be done without consulting Congress?

Republican: The Democrats love terrorists and hate Americans so Trump had to act on his own.

Me: Let’s move on. Recently, on a United Airlines flight, I was offered an egg-white and Kale Pastry. Isn’t this just taking some fashionable health food and wrapping it in a donut?

Republican: Yeah. That’s some bullshit right there.

Me: Recently, at a rally, Trump talked for about 2 hours. An analysis showed that 75% of the claims he made were easily proven to be false; and yet, his fans still love him and even cheered at the lies. How do you explain this.

Republican: Trump was sent by God and we all know that God works in mysterious ways.

Me: Try again but this time be honest.

Republican: Okay…just this once…Trump is working to keep out people that are not white or that worship a different collection of magic than I do.

Me: With regards to Trump’s impeachment, why won’t he let people that are in his inner circle testify. Wouldn’t they be able to clear his name if he is, in fact innocent.

Republican: No, you shut up.

Me: Why are you fingering that gun stuffed in your belt.

Republican: You are confusing me with facts and I find that threatening.

At this point, I decided to end the interview.

Time to save the world.

Up, up and away…

Jim