This just in: I was at my doctor’s office today and she asked, “Do you want a vaccine shot for Shingles?” My response was, “Hell yes!” I know people that had Shingles and it seems to be a particularly nasty infliction. After the injection, I asked if I would be sick tomorrow and the response was, “Well…you won’t feel great.” That was fine with me.

As I’m driving home, I started to wonder how the Ridiculous Right would paint a Shingles vaccine if President Biden recommended everyone get one. The more ridiculous the more Republicans, Fox viewers, QAnons and the Small Penis Militiamen would believe the story. So, I’m starting a story right now.

The Shingles vaccine was developed by WalMart to track online purchasing habits of Americans. Their goal is to position themselves to better compete with Amazon. It works by linking, automatically to any WiFi connection available. Since it’s in your body, it can track geographic locations as well as finger movements. This later ability will allow them to see what you are typing on your computer. WalMart commissioned a Chinese hacking group to create the nano-bot that is injected along with the vaccine. China, in return, will be given the contract for providing electric carts for lazy people to drive around in at every WalMart in the world. And…this was all Joe Biden’s idea.

There, that should do it.

If you think Donald Trump won the last election then you should have no problem believing my myth.

If you think the Republican Party is fighting the good fight to help the American people that put them in office, then you should have no problem believing my myth.

If you think January 6th was a false flag operation orchestrated by Democrats, then you should have no problem believing my myth.

But I digress…

There are literally dozens of things put out there by the Republican Party that are so ridiculous that its hard to believe that anyone would believe any of them. And yet, millions believe all of it.

As for me, I intend to spend the rest of my day googling “Left-Handed, Asian Foot Fetishes” just to mess with WalMart’s marketing plans.

Alas…

Time to save the world.

Up, up and away…

Jim