This just in:  I’ve decided to become a Republican…for the duration of this post.  I then interview myself.

Old Me: So, it looks like Trump was warned about Flynn by Obama and Yates long before Flynn was fired.  In fact, Flynn was only fired once the Washington Post revealed this fact.

Republican Me:  Yes, we should find out who leaked that information to the Washington Post.  Leaks, not Russia, are the biggest threat to democracy.

 

Old Me: We should invest in Green Energy since it means a cleaner planet and tens of thousands of high payinig jobs.

Republican Me: Coal is the future.  We should also drill for oil in our national parks and off the shores of California.  We also need to lift the anti-pollution regulations surrounding fossil fuels since they are the reason we coal jobs are going away.

 

Old Me: We should fix our borders and deport those that have come here illegally AND have proven that they are a danger to our society.  However, I don’t think we deport law abiding people that are here already and are paying taxes and contributing to the community.

Republican Me:  Mexicans are taking jobs from Americans.  If we deport all people currently picking lettuce, then we will have millions of new, high paying jobs.

 

Old Me: The Free Press is a cornerstone of our Country.

Republican Me:  If its not on Fox News, its not flattering to my party and thus, is fake news.  I applaud the Trump plan to ban all television stations but Fox News in government facilities.  No, I don’t see any relationship to this plan and the RT news outlet in Russia.

 

Old Me: Democracy means that everyone gets to vote; every vote counts.

Republican Me: If people don’t vote Republican then screw them.  Gerrymandering and voter suppression are legitimate tools.

 

Old Me:  There sure is a lot of smoke about Russia and Trump.  The National Security position was filled by a man later found to be associated with Russia and lied about it.  The Attorney General met with Russians and lied about it.  Senior Advisor Kushner met with the Russians and lied about it.  The Secretary of State was awarded a Friend of Russia by Putin.  Other advisors have also been found to have been associated with Russia and WikiLeaks and lied about it.  There is something there.

Republican Me: Fake news.

 

Old Me: Fix Healthcare.  Cover more people.  Lower costs.  Look to numerous successes in the rest of the world for models of what works.  Single Payer seems to be a success everywhere they use it.

Republican Me: So long as we pass something that is not ObamaCare, we really don’t care what that healthcare plan accomplishes.

 

Old Me: Trump lies too much.  In fact, one lie is too many; never mind the numerous lies each and every day.

Republican Me: Fake news.

 

Old Me:  Our international relations are important.  They make us secure.

Republican Me:  We have the biggest military so…Fuck the UK, Fuck Australia, Fuck Mexico, Fuck Canada, Fuck Germany, Fuck France, Fuck the EU and Fuck Nato.  Did I miss anyone?

 

Old Me: Our country was not founded on Christianity but rather on religious freedom

Republican Me:  God likes Christians. In fact, God want Christian churches to be able to contribute to my campaign funds.  Muslims are terrorists.

 

Old Me: Income inequality is the biggest threat to our economy.  In fact, Ben Bernanke was on television the other day and said exactly that several times; at the same time disparaged Trump’s tax plan.  I also agree with Bernanke that infrastructure spending will return more to the economy than the investment.

Republican Me: What we need is to lower the tax rate on the rich. That is how we will achieve economic growth never before seen.  Bigly!

 

Old Me:  If we cut $850 Billion from Medicaid, the poor and the elderly will have less coverage.

Republican Me:  By cutting $850 billion and then taking what is left and sending that to the states, the increase in efficiency will easily pay for the cut.  Move along….there is nothing to see here….

 

Wow!  That was really easy.

Time to shower the Republican off for me.  I have a world to save.

Up, up and away…

Jim

 

 

This just in:  As a disclaimer, I am not referring to what a “Republican” was 10 years ago.  I also want to stress the “just might be” part of this post.  My intent is to not throw a broad net over everyone that identifies as a Republican and attribute the following traits to them all.

So let’s start…

  1. You just might be a Republican if you think white people are superior to non-white people.
  2. You might be a Republican if you think the poor don’t buy healthcare insurance because they want iphones instead.
  3. You just might be a Republican if you think ALL regulations are bad and are stifling growth.
  4. If you think taxation is the same as “taking”, then you just might be a Republican.
  5. If you think tax cuts for the ultra rich are more important that universal healthcare…then you just might be a Republican.
  6. If you think it’s okay for the President of the United States to lie to the American public on a daily basis…you just might be a Republican.
  7. If you think the United States is meant to be a Christian Nation, then you just might be a Republican.
  8. If you don’t believe in science, then you just might be a Republican.
  9. If you don’t understand basic economics, then you just might be a Republican.
  10. You just might be a Republican if you think the poor like being that way so they can get free stuff.
  11. You just might be a Republican if you think undocumented immigrants are a bigger threat to the average American than domestic gun violence.
  12. If you don’t agree that domestically grown terrorists exist and are a much greater threat than immigrant terrorists, then you just might be a Republican.
  13. If you think Putin is a man to be admired, then you just might be a Republican.
  14. If you think that healthcare should be left to the Free Market, then you just might be a Republican.
  15. If you think corruption at the very highest levels of our government is acceptable because “he won the election” then you just might be a Republican.
  16. If you use God to justify your hate….then you just might be a Republican.
  17. If you nod in agreement when a Republican Congressman King tweets ” that culture and demographics are our destiny. We can’t restore our civilization with somebody else’s babies” then you might be a Republican.
  18. If you believe that Trump will bring back jobs to the United States, then you just might be a Republican.
  19. If you think Trump is honest; that he understands the “average man”; that he will put middle America’s interests ahead of the wealth; that he understands diplomacy; that he understands economics; that he understands negotiations; that he understands healthcare and that he understands the science behind Global Warming, then you just might be a Republican.
  20. If you think we need more nuclear weapons, then you just might be a Republican.
  21. If you think it’s not Trump’s fault that the U.K., the E.U., the U.N. are all turning their backs on the United States, then you just might be a Republican.
  22. You just might be a Republican if you think that the government’s unemployment numbers are only correct when Trump tells you they are correct.
  23. If you think all news that you don’t like is fake news, then you just might be a Republican.
  24. You just might be a Republican if you gobble up fake news like a dog scarfing down bacon bits.
  25. You might be a Republican if you think torture is okay under any circumstance.
  26. If you think Muslims are terrorists, then you just might be a Republican.
  27. If you think any form of racism is acceptable, then you just might be a Republican.
  28. If you support banning immigrants from Muslim countries is a good idea, even when our best intelligence agencies say just the opposite, then you might just be a Republican.
  29. If you think a Free Press is the Enemy of the State, then you just might be a Republican.
  30. If you are okay with Trump and his family profiting from his position as POTUS, then you just might be a Republican.
  31. If you think the Trump/Russian connection is nothing to be concerned about, you just might be a Republican.
  32. If you think Trump is not releasing his tax forms simply because he is being audited, then you just might be a Republican.
  33. If you think the ACA and Obamacare are two different things, then you just might be a Republican.
  34. If you think the United States is worse off after 8 years of Obama, then you just might be a Republican.
  35. You just might be a Republican if you think a $25 Billion wall will fix immigration.
  36. If you don’t care that Trump has said nothing about Russia’s treaty defying release of a new missile system, then you just might be a Republican.
  37. You just might be a Republican if you think environmental protections are bad for our country.
  38. If you think Paul Ryan has the slightest idea of what he is doing with Healthcare, you just might be a Republican.
  39. You just might be a Republican if you think corporations should be able donate infinite money to politicians.
  40. If you think tax cuts will grow our economy you just might be a Republican.
  41. If you think saying “we need to rebuild our infrastructure” is the same thing as actually rebuilding our infrastructure, then you just might be a Republican.
  42. If you think it was okay for the GOP to not let Obama pick a Supreme Court nominee because “he only has a year left in his term” then you just might be a Republican.
  43. If you don’t understand the terms “false equivalency” “cognitive dissonance” and “confirmation bias,” then you just might be a Republican.
  44. I suppose I could go on and on.   Trump and his crew offer up no shortage of things to be appalled about.  The latest being a healthcare plan that does just the opposite of what Trump promised.
  45. If you think you know the will of God and speak/act on his behalf, then you just might be a Republican.
  46. If you think denying people access to birth control will not increase abortions, you might be a Republican.
  47. If you think making abortions illegal will reduce the number of abortions rather than chase women into the alleys to get them done anyway, then you might be a Republican.
  48. If you think private prisons don’t have a vested interest in keeping their prisons full, then you might be a Republican.
  49. If you think green energy creates fewer jobs than fossil fuel industries, then you might be a Republican.
  50. If you think kicking migrant workers out of the United States will create more good paying jobs, then you just might be a Republican.

Up, up and away…

Jim