Food, Dogs and Justice

This just in: I can’t decide if life is supposed to be a tragedy or a comedy.  Is it about the journey or the destination? 

And mostly…Taco Bell or Popeye’s chicken.

Let’s start with the last issue first.

Normally, I’m a Popeye’s chicken guy above all else.  Last week I splurged and bought a Family Pack which is enough calories to feed a college football team for about a week.  Took me an hour to finish.  At first, I thought I might not make it.  I’d ordered two Family Size servings of rice and beans as my 2 sides.  However, I forgot to get a fork or spoon.  So, I’m sitting in my hotel room with no way to eat this.  Then…my eyes landed on my plastic room key.  Turns out, that worked pretty well.  However, it would no longer unlock my door the next day.  I actually complained to the front desk about that.

But wait…Taco Bell, sensing that it’s losing the battle for my favorite food, drew me to a Truckstop outside of Kansas City.  I went in and realized I was in heaven.  Side by side was a Taco Bell and a Dunkin Donuts.  I quickly ordered one of everything on the Taco Bell menu and then, just to pass the time while my food was being prepared, sidestepped over to the Dunkin Donut counter and ordered one of everything that had something stuffed into its middle.  I ate all of this during the next hour of driving; using my pants, shirt and steering wheel as napkins.  It was wonderful.

I can talk about my bad food habits because compared to my dog, I’m a walking book of proper dining etiquette.

Of course, I’m referring to my Lab, Echo.  She adheres to the following motto when it comes to food: “If it fits in my mouth, I can eat it.  If it’s not food, I can always poop it out later.”

This is a dog that will eat her own poop.  We have to make sure there is no poops in the yard before we let her out or else she’ll run out and spoil her dinner.  Just the other day, I was talking with my wife on the phone.  She said, “Uh, Oh.”  When I asked what was going on, she replied, “I’m 15 minutes late feeding the dogs.  Echo just went out back.  I think she intends to poop herself an hors d’oeuvre.”

Next…Journey or Destination

I’ve always heard that “Life is a journey, not a destination.”  I get this but…there is a part of me that thinks this was made up by someone that gave up on trying to accomplish something.  Like, maybe its just a way of saying, “We should all get participation awards because we played the game.”  Now, I have evidence that the “journey” may be right.  I’m learning Chinese; on my own.  I’ve been at it for about 3 months now.  The other day I realized that I will never become fluent in Chinese.  This perspective made me instantly think “I should stop wasting my time.”  However, I really enjoy learning Chinese.  I don’t know why but I like it.  So, I continue the journey knowing with absolute certainty that I’ll never reach my destination.  I’m fine with that.

And now for the tragedy…

Here is how I see our justice system at work.

Judge to Cop: “I see you shot an unarmed black man.”

Cop: “Yes, but he had a phone and I mistook it for a missile launcher.”

Judge: “Completely understandable.  Still, you must be punished.”

Cop: “What!  No fair!   I was following the rules.  It clearly states that if a black man has anything in his hand, I can shoot him until I run out of bullets.”

Judge: “Yes, but you got caught.  Not getting caught is part of that very same regulation.  So, I’m sentencing you to watch a 2-part video.  Part 1 is titled – How to turn off your body camera before shooting an unarmed black man.  Part 2 is titled – How to erase body camera footage if you forgot to turn off your body camera when you shot an unarmed black man.”

Cop: “No fair”

Judge: “Next case”

Lawyer: “Your honor, my client pleads guilt to bank fraud, tax evasion and about 16 other felonies that I won’t bother to list right now as I have a pollo match to attend shortly.”

Judge: “I understand.  Let me ask you this – Is your client an unarmed black man?”

Lawyer: “No, he’s a wealthy white man.”

Judge: “Case dismissed.”

Time to save the world.

Up, up and away…

Jim

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My Recipe for Fascist Pie

This just inFascism (/ˈfæʃɪzəm/) is a form of radical authoritarian ultranationalism, characterized by dictatorial power, forcible suppression of opposition and control of industry and commerce, which came to prominence in early 20th-century Europe.

That sounds way more familiar than it should.  The question of the day is “How did we get here?”

The following is my own recipe for Fascist Pie

Ingredients…

  • 1 Cup of sifted, unlimited, anonymous, campaign contributions
  • 2 Handfuls of a gullible population
  • 1 tablespoon of greed
  • 1/2 Pound of propaganda machine
  • A dash of racism
  • 1 stick of Russia funded NRA
  • 3 chopped Evangelicals
  • A dash of anti-fact
  • 1 Orange (comb-over is optional)

Mix all of these together and them plop them into an oven set on “FEAR”.  Cook for one decade.

In short…you can’t make a pie with just an orange.  There are a lot of reasons we are becoming a Fascist nation and only one of them is named Trump.

Unlimited campaign contributions are probably the main ingredients here.  However, all this money would have no impact if we didn’t have a political party that willingly takes the bribes and then does the bidding of those that paid them, instead of those that voted for them.  This is a symbiotic relationship.  Citizens United would not exist without the Republican Party and they would not exist without unlimited finances from special interests.

Greed tells the Koch brothers that they need more money.  Greed of Republicans make them willing to take Koch money to pass a tax law that harms our economy. Greed makes Republicans take Russian money, via the NRA, and then not address gun control

Racism, along with Evangelicals are the special spices of this mix.  Both want America to return to some imagined White, Christian nation.  They don’t know it but they are acting as if a White, Christian, Fascist nation is what they prefer.

To keep the population at bay, they must be fed a steady diet of “don’t look behind that curtain in the corner.”  Fox News and the NRA provide this mis-direction.  For example:  If there is a mass shooting by a white guy…”send thoughts and prayers”.  If there is a mass shooting by a non-white then “Terrorism strikes the homeland.”  This sustains the racist and evangelical votes.  Trump tariffs are starting to hurt the economy so, let’s do a show about an ugly dog contest at a county fair.

Gullibility is hard to under-estimate.  Here are 2 examples.  (1)George Bush is president and the gas prices are high.  Fox News reports that the president has no control over gas prices.  Then, Obama is president and gas prices are high.  Now Fox News reports that these high prices are the president’s fault. (2) Obama, the candidate, said he would meet with North Korea without preconditions.  Fox News blasted relentlessly for this.  Trump then says the same thing and Fox News praises him as a man of action.  In both of these instances, the gullible watched Fox News and nodded in agreement.

Note:  If you have not read 1984 in the last 10 years, I recommend you have another go at it.

The orange, Trump, is the cherry on top of the pie.  That pie would exist without him but it would not be nearly as perfect.  Trump is without shame.  He has a complete disregard for any facts that don’t suit him.  For example, right now, his new plan is to act as if Russia did interfere but what they really want is for Democrats to win.  Now, in front of the world, Putin said in Helsinki that he wanted Trump to win.  Today, the White House transcripts and video of Putin saying that have be wiped clean of Putin’s statement.  We all saw it but Trump is acting like it never happened.  Fox News will back him up on this and the gullible will nod in agreement.

The result is a big fat heaping of Fascism Pie.  If you don’t like it and would prefer something else…then change the ingredients.  Vote in November.

Time to save the world.

Up, up and away…

Jim

 

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