Grief Management

This just in:  3 days ago, my daughter lost her twin boys who were born prematurely at 6 months of age.

She is physically fine and both her and her husband are surrounded by family and friends.

The grief is in abundance; like a little spirit floating around and tapping everyone within its sphere of influence and saying, “Now you.  Now you.  Now you.”  None of us were left unscathed.

I’m writing this post as a way of dealing with my small portion of the grief.

Writing is something I do often when I’m trying to deal with something.  It could be a positive issue or a negative one.  I could be searching for an answer or trying to share one.  For me, writing is a magic pill that helps me cope.

It’s helping me right now.

Aside from writing, I reached out to my closest friends and let them know what was going on.  To a man, they were all supportive; letting me know that they shared my pain and would help in any way they could.  This helped a lot.

Another way of dealing with grief is to write a Gratitude List.  It has been my experience that I cannot be “in gratitude” and in some other state of mind simultaneously.

I know this and yet, it has taken me 3 days to get to this point.  I think I wanted to hold onto the grief.  It reminds me of perspective; what’s really important.  I embrace the pride I have in my little girl and how strong she is to go through such an experience.  I touch my friends and let them know I need them and they reach back with “I’m here for you.”

Good stuff….but now it’s time for The List.

I’m grateful for…

  1. Dill pickle chunks in beef stroganoff
  2. Coffee in the morning
  3. The smell of morning after a rainy night
  4. Family and friends
  5. Spell check
  6. Watching my dogs play together
  7. The cookie my wife leaves out for me on the mornings I get up early to catch a plane
  8. Nacho sauce mixed in with cottage cheese
  9. The science that lets us put toys on Mars
  10. The anticipation of Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden
  11. A well hit 6 iron
  12. Breathe Rite strips that let me sleep better at night
  13. Quails lining up for their morning feeding
  14. Understanding life is about the journey
  15. The outlet of writing
  16. A fur lined hat on a snowy day
  17. Freedom from fear
  18. Health
  19. Passing through Canadian Immigration in under 5 minutes
  20. My perfect wife
  21. My old Jeep Wrangler starting on the first try
  22. Eating stew at an outdoor Christmas festival in Budapest
  23. Drinking hot chocolate while people watching on Market Street in San Francisco
  24. A fog filled neighborhood street on a weekend morning
  25. Geico commercials
  26. A good book
  27. The menu at The Cheesecake Factory
  28. Not drinking alcohol for 28 years or using tobacco for 27 years
  29. The Serenity Prayer
  30. My kids, Ryan, Cory, Matt and Bence
  31. Cute animal videos
  32. That my first meeting of the day isn’t until 10:30 am.

With that, I’ll leave my list behind for now.  I need to get some breakfast and go out into the world.

I feel better now.

Up, up and away…

Jim

 

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Grief Management

  1. So very sorry Jim. Healing thoughts to you and family. Thank you for reminding us about gratitude and for that great list.

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